Mayor Bloomberg, please. May I have another piece of cake? It’s my birthday!

            I see Mayor Bloomberg each time I reach for my fork.

            Today was my birthday and my vanilla butter cream cake commemorating this fateful day, resplendent with colorful red and blue butter cream balloons, sat in front of me like a wobbly crown of infinite calories. One small but healthy slice slithered onto my fork and down my throat before I picked drops of icing from my sleeve. As my grandmother says, delirious!

           “Go on, have another piece,” my friends urged.

So I said to myself, “Why stop now? “

Reaching for the knife and plunging it deeply into layers of sugar with the confidence of a skilled surgeon, my utensil moved with frightening accuracy to the heart of the cake box.  Another slice leaped onto my plate with wild abandon.

As I picked up my fork again, I gasped. An all-too familiar face glared up at me from my dish of fine china.

I sighed and pleaded.

“Mayor Bloomberg, please. May I have another piece of cake? It’s my birthday!”

His frown reminded me that one slice was enough.
            I put my fork down.

           But ever since our leader of Gotham unwrapped a decree from his political lunchbox and declared that large sodas should be outlawed, I’ve tried to be on my best behavior.

            Mayor Bloomberg pointed out the excess in our diets. And as we all know but sometimes forget, anything in excess is not good for us.  While his motivation may have been fatherly, he did forget a couple of things. As well intentioned as our Mayor may be, some people don’t want to be told what to do. His demanding tone combined with butting into my kitchen fell flat as a pancake. If he had taken his message of gulping less and brought us the same information in a more palatable way, he would have closed more mouths. That’s a lot to swallow.

            I’ve put my fork down for now.

People will do as they please, including me.

            So what’s on your plate? 

            Mayor Bloomberg wants to know.

Big Gulp, Anyone?

If large soft drinks are banned, beware the likely rise of the Soft Drink Dealer.

Credits: Shot on location in Inwood, upper Manhattan, New York. 

One of my brave neighbors serves as the model. The cake is a stand-in for the original which was not as photogenic as the one sold by the C-town on Broadway and 207. Party favors (crown, hats, and noisemakers) were purchased from the 99 cents and up store on 207 Street and Broadway. Mike (but no Ike) candy purchased from Fidel Gourmet Grocery, Broadway at the corner of 204. The local 7-Eleven on Dyckman Street and Vermilyea Avenue supplied the cups. Big Gulp, anyone?